It's the end of my sexless weekend thanks to a treacherous uterus and I eagerly look towards the latter part of the week when I will be free of my womanly shackles.

I do not purport to know why, but my left knee feels like someone injected water into the cartilage and just left it there. It's painful and I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to cause it. It's seriously limiting my agility, which is bad.

My birthday is dumb

I mean that in the literal sense. On a dumb scale of 1-10, Groundhog Day hovers around 23.

I'm not expecting anyone to do anything for it except possibly my daughter (if she isn't too busy straightening her hair) and my office mates. My son will almost certainly design the most adorable card ever designed by a child once someone tells him his mother is old(er). If it didn't fall on a Wednesday, he'd bring me toaster pastries and cereal in bed.

I'd like a King Cake this year.

My Desi boy really wants to take me out for my birthday. I mentioned that I've never had Indian food and he said he'll take me even though he doesn't really like it all that much. He probably has a similar relationship with his native cuisine as I do with Tex Mex.

He wants to meet for lunch one day at Spiral Diner (vegan, yet amazingly very good). As it turns out, he's a huge fan of the place and it's close to both of our offices.

I showed his picture to our 65-year-old staff assistant today.

"Oh geez, E! He's REALLY good looking. WOW! Why don't you email me that picture and I'll print it on photo paper for your desk? That is one good looking guy! Is he younger than you?"

For the record, he is. I'm 1.5 years his senior. I don't think that quite qualifies me as a cradle robber.

Neither of us know where this is going. He's a foreign guest worker; one of the rare legitimate ones actually imported to do a job few are trained to do. He's been in this country 6 years (5 in Boston) and his boss is wanting to ship him to India in a few months to train people. In order for him to stay here, he'd be out a shitload of money. He's not trying to snag an American wife for a visa.

"If I ever marry, it will be for marriage, not a visa."

So there you have it. Since I'm 110% certain neither of us is going to be willing to walk that plank in a few months,  it definitely leaves things up in the air. We've decided to continue things as they are and see where that leads. I refuse to stress over it.

I'm not sure how to describe the relationship. I don't know if I should call him my boyfriend. He's far more than a fuck buddy. Right now, I'm just unsure what that makes him.

Astrology is stupid but I still sorta follow it

The Desi is a Libra and I'm Aquarius.

 So we're each other's best match (along
 with Gemini for me), zodiacally speaking.

I'm reasonably certain I just made that word up.

Slumdoggin'

I could barely function at work Monday because I spent 4.5 hours having my brains fucked out by M. Night Shyamalamadingdong's doppleganger Sunday night. My first excursion with him, in my van two nights prior, was but a mere warm up.

Yes, I did just say 4.5 hours. That's a long time to do the things we were doing. I shouldn't be able to walk yet but thanks to the amazing cushioning powers of foreskin, I'm able to stand fully upright.

Perhaps it isn't just English men but foreign men in general that do it for me. I've always thought a lot of Indian men were extremely good looking. Turns out they have a lot of stamina to boot. I always heard they have tiny dicks. That's just some crazy nonsense right there. It wasn't tiny. Not at all. Not even a bit.

Best lulz so far this week: talking on the phone with my BFF Monday when she was having lunch with her standard issue American boyfriend.

"C and I are at the Indian place on (insert name of overdeveloped street in Fort Worth here)".
"You're having what kind of food?"
"Indian. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Really? I went on a 4.5 hour Indian binge last night. I love Indian!"

Then there was lots of cackling laughter.

I'm unsure where things are going with my Desi boy. He thinks I'm the hottest thing on two legs and we did know each other a couple of months before we go to the point of 4.5 hours of almost continuous penetrative sex.

Yes, I did just say that.

There's far more there than physical elements though those are freaking awesome in their own right.

I also feel like I should write a song or a poem about foreskin because I just love it that much. I'm not that motivated right now so I'm just going to post a stupid graphic.

It's more than that

Stress kills. The stress of being "middle class" in a society that seems hell-bent on destroying you exacerbates everything. My salary places me in this caste and I can't catch a break anywhere.

Top financial stress with kid, relationship and school stress and it seems like too much for one person to manage. Maybe there is something fundamentally screwed up about me that I'm struggling to this extent.

The power one person can have over another...... Never will I let another put me in a situation that is virtually unmanageable. That is why I'm still single while so many wonder why I'm not seeking commitment after a year. I was unaware that a year of singledom is alarming.

I keep telling people I don't want a serious boyfriend and I don't think I am taken seriously. One friend says that I don't seem unhappy though I am clearly looking for something. She thinks it's a significant other. I think it's a general peace of mind that probably will not come in the form of any sort of male appendage or the person attached to said appendage.

I can't honestly say I'm completely closed to the idea either. The two men with whom I've had any physical relations with over the past year have both been English so I'm totally sticking to my guns there. The connections I've made with them, while not the stuff marriages are made of, have been far more substantial than the connections I've ever made with any American men. This includes the two I have been married to; a fact I find frightfully telling. If I've found so much more with these blokes, yet neither are potential marriage material, how much of myself did I give up during my relationships my fellow countrymen? There is so much more to be had and I'm seeing real glimpses of that with these English fellows.

Only a few months ago did I realize that I am more attracted to English men than any other type of man. I've been accused of only liking the accent which is total bullshit. It is so much more than that though I do like the way they sound. I am an American girl, after all. It's more than a foreskin fetish though as it turns out, I like those as well.

Ultimately, it's a way of viewing and processing information and the world. I've known from a young age that I see things differently from most of the people around me. Now I'm realizing that my worldview isn't especially unique; it's uncommon in my location. That I tend to share cultural interests with these men helps a great deal as well.

I feel in the bottom of my heart that I will not be single forever, that there is an English man out specifically for me. I'm not sure when or where I'll find him but I'm not going to fret over it. Now that I feel self assured that this is what is ultimately meant for me, I won't settle for anything less.

I'm salaried and in administration. What a change from last week.

My first day went splendidly.

I'm up bright and early. I even painted my nails cobalt blue with silver glitter balls. My nails look like the night sky.